Year in Review: Bengal, B-Town, Bombs, Bibas and Babies

A meager 2 months after Josh’s Bibaspora update post, I am finally getting around to typing up my reflections on the past year. One reason it has taken me so long to post my Biba-centered reflections is that four of the five “B”s above are all connected and, thus, my post has been a bit, well, overwhelming. Thus, I’ve been putting it off until I had emotional reinforcements. Right now, as I type, those reinforcements come in the form of coffee and blackberries drizzled with dark chocolate and pistachios. (as a side note, I have become completely obsessed with the new Cooking Channel and am considering a second life as a cook/food photographer). Now onto the B’s of this year:

Bengal:

Well, now that the near-nauseating stress of the first year is a couple months in the past, I can say that, although the first year was totally terrifying and a stressful blur, I think I rocked my first year of grad school. More importantly, I have found some very good ladyfriends in my department who I regularly drink and eat and discuss our future professorial personas with. In short, you’d like them and they may prove to be excellent editions to the Biba Institute. I’ve also honed in on my research focus: Bengal. It is the former capital of the British empire which makes for complex neo-colonial discussions, its on the border of Bangledesh which makes for interesting Hindu-Muslim interactions and it has a rich literary and devotional history. I am particularly interested in the Baul movement in Bengal. In this incredible devotional movement bodily fluids, particularly menstrual blood, are considered a powerful component of the divine. This means I will be learning all about semen, menstrual blood and other bodily secretions that should prove an interesting challenge when I eventually do field work. ( I read this article by a scholar who was invited to partake in ingesting the menstrual blood of the woman in the family she was living with- I am ecstatic to see Travis’ reaction to such an offer when we eventually travel to India).

B-Town

As a few beautiful Bibas learned, Bloomington is a charming little college town with great Thai food, beautiful trees and this incredible chocolate shop that I patron when feeling down. That being said, I will admit that it feels very small-too small- and Travis and I have hit a kind of wall. The newness of the town has worn off and it is beginning to set in that 5 years is a long time in a city one-tenth the size of Austin. Not to mention the fact that we just plain miss Texas: (in no particular order) the Mexican food, the friends, the family, the “y’all”s. My point?: come visit us!!!! Thankfully Chicago is close. I don’t think I would have gotten through this year without Sean and Jill being so close. It has been an utter delight visiting them and having them visit us.

Bibas

On that note, our Biba visitors were a crucial component of our survival of homesickness. Sean and Jill came for Valentine’s weekend, Ben and Meagan visited for their Spring Break and Josh came with a Biba-worthy colleague in November. Beyond bringing the kind of love I can only get from a Biba or family, these Bibas helped me through, honestly, the two worst weeks of my life.

Bombs(obviously, discretion about these events is necessary- you are family so I share it but it is still raw and painful so keep it private to Bibas, my loves)

The day that Josh arrived I had found out earlier that afternoon from my parents that my dad had been having an affair. Later, in February, after four strenuous months of marriage counseling, my parents seemed to be doing great, but then my mom found a credit card bill proving that my dad had never ended the affair; the day that my mom found the bill and confronted my father, Meagan and Ben showed up on my doorstep. These trips were not planned in relation to my crisis but very conveniently coincided.

However, I don’t find it to be a “coincidence” that as my blood family imploded, my Biba family drove into town to support me and allow me to cry on them. Y’all know me- but just to warn you- I’m gonna get all religious here. I fully believe that God sent my other family to support me when the one I have known and loved my entire life splintered. Thus, I am reminded that we are tied to each other. Just as the blood in my body ties me to my dad, I am tied to each of you in an equally mysterious and awe-inspiring manner. Each of us might express this differently, but I believe that love is the thing that ties us together-not the clichéd love of movies but the inconceivable, unparalleled power of God’s love. Its forgiving, endless and within each of us to share and show and hold and stand in awe of. It is the same love that moves me to forgive and reestablish a relationship with my dad, that makes me want to protect my new little nephew at all costs (even if it means jumping into a burning building), and that brought my Bibas to my side to hold me up when I cried.

Despite how far away Bloomington feels from all of you, I am so comforted knowing that we are tied together forever-its just up to us to nourish it and be open to how what ties us together moves us towards each other.

Babies (Biba Owen)- see picture above

As a poignant illustration of the ever-present and always available love and redemption in the universe, despite all of the ruptures in my parent’s relationships, Biba Sean and Jill now have an incredible son: Owen Lee Johnson Andrews. Aubs, D-Webb and April got to meet him and I can’t wait for all of the rest of the Bibas to do so. Being with Jill in the delivery room was the most incredible honor and showed me the raw power of love and, well, women. I can only hope to be as strong as Biba Jill and as good a parent as Sean and Jill. I cannot express the feeling of love and awe that filled that room with Owen’s first cry.

I am obsessed with Owen and fully intend on being the greatest aunt (or at least as good as Aubs and Meag) to him. I don’t want to speak for Travis here, but he’s pretty smitten too. But can you blame us? I mean, look at him. (Claire, we will be playing with him a lot in the coming year!!!!). Y’all gotta meet this little one; when you do, you will want to move to Chicago.

And speaking of Chicago- I will close with a freak out about NYE Chicago. It’s going to be amazing!!!! I ache to see you all and can’t wait for hugs, drinks, laughter, dancing, some kind of odd photo sequence-perhaps with glasses?, and for slightly groggy reflections and pancakes the morning after.

Thank you for being my family and for your love and for reading my ridiculously long post. I hope it finds you all deliriously happy, healthy and full of hope and good food.

If you’ve made it all the way down here, you’re probably Sean. ;)

I love you all!

-shlee